Money you lent to a friend or relative isn't coming back?

You helped someone out — a friend, a cousin, a colleague — and the money was supposed to come back, and now every reminder feels like it's costing you the relationship as well as the cash. That awkwardness is exactly why these loans go unpaid for years. You can recover it, and often without things turning ugly.

Where you stand

Money lent with an understanding it would be returned is a debt, whether or not you wrote anything down. Written proof makes it far easier, but even without a formal agreement, messages, bank transfers and a pattern of promises to repay can establish that the money was a loan, not a gift.

The steps, in order

1. Pull your proof together — the bank transfer or record of cash given, and any messages where they acknowledge the loan or promise to repay. Those messages are gold.
2. Ask clearly, in writing, one last time — the amount, and a specific date. Firm but calm. Sometimes putting it plainly in writing is the nudge that works.
3. Send a formal demand notice if that's ignored — a proper letter tends to signal you're serious in a way a WhatsApp doesn't.
4. Civil recovery is the step beyond that, and knowing it exists often changes their tune.

When it's worth a notice

If the friendly reminders have run out, a well-drafted demand notice is usually the turning point. Miss Lucy Lite explains where you stand for free but doesn't draft documents — Miss Lucy Pro can draft that notice with the right wording and a clear deadline.

Not sure if what you have counts as enough proof? Tell Miss Lucy Lite the details and she'll help you weigh it up.